


NOT an Easy Job

by etux



Category: The Mortal Path
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 09:33:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14161902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etux/pseuds/etux
Summary: People get stabbed. There's broken ribs and explosions. Nat beats up only, like, maybe two people. Not-friends are made. Taro has at least one Hello Kitty bandage in his pocket at all times, probably. A masquerade ball.You know, the usual stuff.Alternatively:High School Musical 2 is the only good spy movie there is.





	NOT an Easy Job

**Author's Note:**

> This is... a mess. But. I wanted to write something with that name tag reveal you're gonna ~~see~~ read in just a bit  & I just wanted to lower the bar, I guess. Now that this inconsistent and messy spy AU is out of the way, I can start writing melodramatic chracter analyses and dorky high school AUs.
> 
> So stay tuned. I gotta avoid my law school assignments somehow, ya know?
> 
>  
> 
> Also. If you haven't listened to The Mortal Path yet, go do it now. [HERE](https://themortalpath.com/)

”It’s an easy job,” Marlo promises.

 

Natalia isn’t impressed. Marlo always says it’s an easy job.

Last easy job is the reason Nat’s hands are permanently red - and not just metaphorically.

(Although very much metaphorically as well.)

 

”Get in, get the intel, get out. No killing.”

The ’ _this_ _time’_ hangs in the air because Marlo is much too polite to point it out.

 

”And the catch is? There’s always a catch,” Nat says. Because she’s much too impolite _not_ to.

(Impolite might be too harsh. Indifferent to what normal human beings think are the rules of social interaction – now that’s closer.)

 

”You’re… not going to work alone.”

 

”Fuck.”

 

***

 

”Howdy, partner.”

 

” _Fuck_.”

 

***

 

She has a _team_ now.

 

Taro – an indigo douche who she really, _really_ wants to hate, but somehow really, _really_ can’t – and a tiny woman whose real name will possibly forever remain a secret.

 

***

 

Nat’s first time meeting Nerium goes like this:

 

”Hi! It’s a pleasure to meet you!” A tiny woman says with a smile that seems genuine.

”Hello…” Nat reads the _’Hello! My name is:_ ’ tag pinned to the tiny woman’s dress. ”…Meredith.”

 

The tiny woman frowns and then laughs as realisation brightens up her face. ”Oh! I’m still wearing that? Silly me!”

 

And then the tiny woman proceeds to rip off the ’Hello! My name is:’ tag – only to reveal another one under it.

”Hello…” Nat offers a hand to shake as she reads the new tag. ”…Nerium?”

 

Nerium grabs Nat’s hand with both of hers.

”A pleasure!” She repeats with that same smile.

 

Nat would say it feels like a threat, but:

1) This is the tiniest, friendliest woman Nat has ever met, and

2) Nat doesn’t believe in threats aimed at her.

3) She just doesn’t.

 

***

 

The job. Is definitely. Not. Easy.

 

***

 

For one, it includes a ball.

 

Second, it includes _a ball_.

 

***

 

”A _masquerade_ ball?” Taro asks Marlo with such hope and excitement it actually almost scares Nat.

Marlo just sighs before nodding.

 

***

 

”You’ve _never_ worn a dress?”

Nat shakes her head.

 

***

 

”You’ve never worn _a dress_?”

Nat shakes her head again.

 

***

 

Nerium gets her a dress.

 

***

 

It’s surprisingly okay.

 

Kind of nice, even.

 

***

 

The same can _not_ be said for the ball.

 

Nat wears her new dress and some terribly dry and itchy makeup _and_ she doesn’t even get to have her sword with her.

 

She does, however, get a ear piece with a straight connection to Nerium and Taro.

 

(”Definitely not a _straight_ connection with this group, don’t you think?” Taro says with a wink.

Nat’s mad, but only because she didn’t think of that joke first.)

 

Taro’s at the ball with her, but Nerium’s outside in a van with all the tech.

 

(”Like a bad spy movie,” Nat says.

”Always a bad spy movie.” Nerium shakes her head. ”Why is it always a _bad_ spy movie?”

”Because good spy movies don’t exist?”

 

”Hey!” Taro calls from the other side of the room, sounding offended. ”Good spy movies _do_ exist. High School Musical 2, for example.”

”What.”)

 

Nerium has the info and Nat and Taro get the intel.

 

It really _is_ like a bad spy movie.

 

***

 

”Nat. You gotta introduce yourself.”

”Nat. _Ask_ them something.”

”Nat. Laugh a little. No, not like that. _Giggle_.”

”Nat. That is _not_ how conversation works.”

 

***

 

”Nat.”

”Nat.”

” _Nat_.”

 

***

 

It’s a wonder Nat only beats up, like, two people before they are forced to leave the ball in what one might call _a grand exit_.

 

Findex, who somehow just ends up exiting with them, would probably call it _kidnapping_. Or, you know, _fleeing the scene_ and _taking_ _a_ _hostage_.

 

But he’s one of the, like, two people Nat beats up, so he’s biased and his opinion doesn’t count.

 

***

 

”How you feelin’ there, Windex?” Taro asks once they’re all three sitting at the back of the van.

(Nerium’s driving and they’re going much faster than they would be if Nat was the one behind the wheel – and that means they are going _really fucking fast_.)

Findex whimpers.

 

Nat pats him on the back.

”There… there?”

 

***

 

A minor car chase. Couple of explosions.

The usual stuff.

 

***

 

Nerium gets stabbed in the back.

 

***

 

Nat gets a broken rib or two.

 

***

 

Taro gets stabbed in the back.

 

***

 

Findex gets traumatised for life, probably.

 

***

 

They all become – if not friends, then… people who tolerate and occasionally even enjoy each others company.

 

***

 

Nat bandages Taro’s wound with a strip of cloth ripped from the hem of her dress, and Taro digs a Hello Kitty bandage from his pocket and puts it on Findex’s forehead.

 

(He isn’t even bleeding.)

(Nat doesn’t even try to understand the weird connection Taro and Findex have managed to form in the past twenty hours or so.)

(She’s pretty sure it’s better that way.)

 

***

 

”So it… wasn’t an easy job?” Marlo asks when they get back to headquarters.

 

”Is it ever?” Taro asks back.

Nat just stares.

 

”We didn’t even get that intel,” Nerium says cheerfully.

 

***

 

All in all… it’s a bad spy movie. 

 

***

 

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Findex raises a hand.

 

”Uh. Can I go home now? Please?”


End file.
